“Blood is thicker than water” is a German proverb and its meaning is fairly common knowledge.  The bonds of family and common ancestry are stronger than those bonds between unrelated people, such as friendship.  For me, however, nothing could be further from the truth.

When we make a decision to be diligent in our spiritual journey, and we make a conscious choice to change and grow, there is one thing that many times will try to tear us down and test our faith in ourselves and in our God, and that is family.

I say this because no matter how much we change and grow, our families tend to maintain their picture of who we used to be and who they think we still are.  It is a frustrating and sometimes agonizing part of spiritual growth.

I made the decision to write this blog about a month ago when a negative experience with a family member caused me to look inward.  I had not seen or spoken to my niece in about six years.  The last time we spoke was during the filming of the television show Intervention.  My niece was a part of this show for a supposed eating disorder, which never really existed.  I participated in the show because I was hopeful that the intervention would at least provide recovery for the real reason she had so many problems, which was an addiction to drugs and drama combined with a heavy dose of delusion and compulsive lying.

Recently we re-connected on Facebook and initially I was excited at being able to keep tabs on her and her 12 year old daughter who is my closest sister’s granddaughter.  But that excitement passed quickly as it became obvious to me through her posts that she was still a very angry individual who consistently blamed others for her misfortune in life and never taking responsibility for the reality she has created.  When I questioned one of her angry rants she deleted me from her Facebook page which was fine with me because I was considering doing the same.  I did, however, use the opportunity to email her and communicated that now that she was 35 years old and a mother of a teenager, it was time for her to stop playing the victim and take responsibility for her life so she could be a better role model for her daughter. Her response was full of venom as she proceeded to tell me what a joke I was and that I needed to go play “fake” somewhere else.

Me?  A fake?  I was startled by this comment because I hear feedback so often from others about how “real” I am for someone with the title of “Reverend”.  And that is when I realized that this is not the first time I have heard this sort of comment from members of my family before.

About three years ago one of my sisters passed away, and I was not allowed to attend her memorial service (that’s another entirely long story I won’t go into here).  One of my other sisters videotaped the service and sent me a copy of it.  I was horrified that during the middle of the memorial one of my other nieces made a snarky remark about how she was a “real” minister now and “not like the other weird one in the family” or something of that nature.  Everyone laughed except for the sister who sent me the video. She didn’t think it was funny either and we both felt it was highly inappropriate to say at a memorial service, especially in light of the fact that the sister who passed always supported my spiritual truth and was even a frequent attendee at my church.  I was forced to consider the source, as my sister, her husband, and I guess now her adult children, are all born-again Christians, but not in the true sense of the word.  If we want to talk about fake we could go there, but we won’t.

The third time I heard something of this nature was from one of my other sisters (I have five) who said she didn’t understand why I was so sweet to my friends but not her and implied that I was being a phony.  I tried to explain that I am sweet to my friends because they are sweet to me.  It was clear to me that my sister always interpreted my difference of opinion with her as a personal attack of some sort, which, in her eyes, does not make me look sweet.  I believe if someone asks for your opinion you should give it with honesty.  I explained if she wanted me to agree with her all of the time it was best if she didn’t bring her problems to me in the first place and to ask someone whose opinion she respected more.  Makes sense right?  What she didn’t realize is that I am not a phony because I am just as forthright and honest with my friends as I am with my family.  Long ago I realized that I can be extremely direct and that can cause others discomfort, but there are those that choose to have me in their life exactly for that reason.  They know they will hear the truth from me and trust that I will not just tell them what they want to hear like others do and then talk behind their backs with the real truth.  If someone in my inner circle cannot handle my innate ability to be honest, then a friendship between us is probably not going to go the duration because I have no intention of putting on a façade and pretending to be someone I am not.

Which brings me back to my first point…..so I will repeat it. No matter how much we change and grow, our families tend to maintain their picture of who we used to be and who they think we still are.   I have spent enough time analyzing these remarks over the years to have come to a conclusion as to why some of them see me as a fake or a phony.  Long ago I used to be an entirely different person. I was selfish, egotistical, condescending, rude, immature, and emotionally needy.  I was an addict that used more than one substance to fill the void in my soul.  One of my sisters used to call me a drama queen and I wore that label well.  In addition all I cared about was career success, money, and “stuff” to prove my worth to the rest of the world.  There was one problem, however. I WAS NOT HAPPY.  Not with my job, not with my relationships, and not with life, period.  It was the late 80’s when I experienced my spiritual awakening and that is when things began to really change for me and when I began to change as an individual.

So here I am, 25 years later.  My journey has not been an easy one but neither is anyone else’s who chooses consciously to learn and grow.  The lessons do not get any easier.  In fact they get harder in the same way as when you’re in school.  I have mastered many things, and some things I am still working on (like my temper and my lack of patience).  But what I know for sure is that I HAVE changed as part of my spiritual evolution and the person I present to world today is authentic and genuine. I am no longer the person I described above.  In addition, although I am a life coach, I have never claimed to be as evolved as Jesus or Buddha or the Dalai Llama, even though others tend to hold me to that level of evolution because of my degree in Spiritual Psychology and my title of Ordained Minister.  We are all a work in progress, myself included.

In the last month or so I made amends with a long-time enemy of mine and we made an agreement to let the past be the past and move forward in friendship.  I was really proud of that moment as it took many years for me to get there. Maybe every time I have had a turning point like this in my life, and there have been many, I should have announced it from the rooftops for all to see, especially my family, so they would have proof that I have changed.  But I am long past the point of having to prove myself to anyone anymore.  I thank GOD that I no longer have the need of validation from anyone, especially my family.  This was one of the most liberating parts of my growth and my ability to be able to detach from them emotionally and to distance myself from those that do not honor who I am, makes me feel pretty happy, especially when I watch others struggle with this issue in their own lives.

Family should be a support system. They should be those you gravitate to when things are going wrong in your life.  They should be your cheerleaders. They should love you unconditionally. I know that is tall order but that is what family means to me.  And that is why I do not feel that blood is thicker than water.  Blood is just that.  A biological connection.  Without the emotional, intellectual, or spiritual connection, what do you have in family?  Nothing really.  I still love all of my family, whether they have any regard or respect for me or not.  But I choose to love some of them from afar because our blood connection is the only connection we have.

If you have the kind of family that loves you, supports you, and is there to catch you when you fall, then say “Thank You” and know that you are blessed.  If what I describe here sounds like your family, stand strong in your truth and do not allow them, or anyone, to take your power away.  Be who you choose to be and allow others to be who they choose to be.  Do not seek validation from them any longer.  Look within and find it for yourself and allow that truth to set you free.

Well here we are……it’s January 2012 and time to look at what I accomplished from my New Year’s Resolutions in 2011.

TAKE CHARGE OF MY HEALTH ~ I wish I could say that I took charge of my health on my own as part of my 2011 resolution, but that would be a lie.  I was forced to take charge of my health because of issues that led me to my primary care physician in October.  As a result of tests taken for other issues I was having, he found that my blood work showed signs of pre-diabetes. That news jolted me into the reality that eating poorly and carrying extra weight could cause some serious problems down the road.  As a result I have made the necessary changes in my diet and so far I have lost 11 pounds. I am paying attention to my stress levels and taking whatever action is needed to reduce that stress rather than eating when I’m stressed.  At the present moment I am feeling healthy, happy, and high energy. My goal by the end of the year is to lose another 35 pounds.

LIMIT SOCIAL NETWORKING ~ I would like to say I hit this one out of the park, but I did not.  I’m still online at least once a day no matter what.  Even with a full-time job, a part-time job, and carrying a 3-course load at college I still managed to log on every day and read everyone’s posts on Facebook and selected friends’ posts on Twitter.  What I did do differently for a good majority of the year was limit my comments on other pages to reduce the amount of comments I received back.  I feel I have learned to balance social networking with everything else in my life and I no longer put it first before the things I need to get done. In addition I am committed to finishing my book early in 2012 and if I see social networking infringing on that goal, I know I have the willpower to shut it down completely until I get the job done.

GIVE UP COFFEE ~ Done!  Not only did I give up Coffee and switched to Chai Tea in the morning, I took it one step further.  I gave up the tea during the week and when I get up in the morning I have a cold glass of water instead and save the tea for weekends only.  It hasn’t affected my “waking up” at all and it’s helping me to feel less dehydrated because I have never been good at drinking ample amounts of water.

ANGER MANAGEMENT ~ This was primarily geared at dealing with my teen daughter and there has been some improvement. I am spending less energy screaming and yelling and more energy in coming up with specific ways in which I can get her to behave the way I prefer or to show her I am angry with her.  I’m still not where I want to be.  My daughter has ADHD and ODD.  For those of you who do not know what ODD is, it is Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  I won’t go into details of this psychological disorder but you are free to Google it.  My daughter tests my patience every single day. It is a continual challenge to not get angry at her when she acts defiantly with teachers as well as with me.  I will add this one back on the list for 2012.

MAKE A CAREEER CHANGE ~  In last year’s resolution blog I stated that by the time I turned 55 I wanted to have shifted into a new career and resign once and for all from my current employer.  I actually thought this was going to happen as there was an 80% chance I would relocate to southern California in December of 2011.  But the opportunity that I was waiting for fell by the wayside so I am back at square one.  I turned 55 this week and I am still working full-time with The Hartford. However, I have made a personal commitment to myself that if the opportunity that I’ve been waiting for does not pan out by July 2012, and I have not been able to secure a position in Southern California in the entertainment industry by that date, I am going to submit my resignation and retire, cash in my 401K, and head to Los Angeles where my heart is.  I truly will not be leaving my heart in San Francisco.

What do I have to add to the above for 2012?

FINISH MY BOOK ~ I know I know…I’ve been talking about this for some time.  I did finish the first draft of all 23 chapters in 2011.  But in 2012 I want to complete the final draft and send it out to a hand-selected group of individuals who have agreed to read it and provide feedback for the final version going to print.  My goal is to finish writing the final draft by the end of the first quarter and to spend the rest of the time working on getting it published and out into the world.

BLOG MORE FREQUENTLY ~ Blogging fell by the wayside because of the heavy academic workload I committed to in 2011.  I plan to blog at minimum once a month until I relocate to Southern California.  Once I am there and entering a whole new world with regard to work and people, I plan to blog weekly.

Until 2013……Namaste.

On July 22, 2011 in Connecticut, my former spiritual teacher spoke to a group of people who traveled from around the country to see him for his once a year visit. I was supposed to be at this session but unfortunately life got in the way and I was not able to make the trip back home.

These are not his exact words, because for a newcomer his verbiage is a bit foreign to those not familiar with him.  I received the full transcript of the session, but these are just bullet points of information that are for everyone, not just the people that were in the room that evening.

• There are many things going on with the Earth today. During this time you must not give up. You must stand strong and be powerful.  Stand tall and say, “This is what I want in my life” and the Universe will provide it.  Accept it and allow it to come. Too many people push against it saying “No, I have to do this, I have to do that, I have to do this”. Everything is very simple.  It is only man that complicates things. State what you want and allow it to come. It doesn’t mean that you don’t work toward it but you don’t push toward it.  It is very important, very important.

• There is a lot of confusion going on.  Mankind is very confused.  He does not have any idea what is going on or how to handle it.  Stay positive.  It is your only protection. Stay in the spiritual side of yourself so that you are not ever negative because that will bring about more negativity all around you that would have nothing to do with you.  Stay positive in your thinking as well. When you get have a negative thought change it immediately, right then, because the energy you put out comes back to you.

• Things are not changing fast enough. People in your government cannot make up their minds about anything.  It is not good when people cannot talk. Anger is mankind’s worst enemy. When you become angry you are not living in the spiritual side of yourself.

• Every motion that you make, everything that you do, comes from a decision that you yourself made which makes you responsible. Nobody likes to hear that because nobody wants to be responsible…..but you are responsible.

• When dealing with people you are going to have moments where you are frustrated and angry because they are upset. Try to understand that all the people that are irritating you are going through their own learning experience – so you must also love and allow. Bless the being and the path they are on. It is not your path so be grateful that it’s not. You do not have to look for trouble! When you hear something that sounds irritating say to yourself “This is not mine” and bless that being and go your own way.

• You are going to hear about people in high power that are going to leave this plane of existence.

• Again, stay positive as it is your greatest protection. Without using that kind of protection, what you do is you feed the negative energy and that is never good at all. I think I have probably told you this many, many, many times, but now it is important because at the present time it can affect everything you want in your life. I don’t want to see you lose anything. I want you to have the greatest and most wonderful life that you all have come into this Earth plane to experience. Therefore, when you hear negative energy, negative words, negative actions, you see them…..you cannot help but to see them…..but you don’t internalize them. Don’t bring them into your being because they don’t belong to you.  Just calmly say, “Bless the being and the path he is on” and then let it go because a thought is energy, and thought creates more negativity and there is enough in the world already. This world is shaken. Keep it calm from within yourselves.  One little light from your positive thought can lighten a room that is filled with darkness so this is very important.

• I am really giving you the key to the Universe. Never send negative energy back. Move forward. Love yourself. All that you have given and put out comes back in positive ways and sometimes in irritating ways. But you can move aside from it. What is it a martial artist says? “Yield to the force.”  You do not block it.  You cannot break Universal law or karma but you will break yourself against it.  Love and allow. You don’t have to love what someone does but you have to love the presence of that being because in each action is a lesson and in each lesson is a gift.

• I also want to tell you Obama will become president again so if that does not vibrate your feelings in a positive way I do not know what will.

This past weekend was to be our last, according to a Christian extremist in Oakland, California. May 21, 2011 was designated as “Judgment Day” when a rapture would begin and God would take with him to Heaven those he had selected to “save”.

Now that this date has come and gone, social media sites are running amuck with jokes and laughter about our impending doom that never happened. I have made a few of my own jokes as well, but to be honest with you, based on all I’ve heard myself from my own spiritual sources, along with what I’m witnessing, it is obvious to me something is going on with our planet.  The Japanese earthquake, the tornadoes in the south, and what has happened in the last 24 hours is frightening.

Yes, May 21^st came and went and we’re all still here, and now the man who started all of this is saying that May 21^st was only the beginning of the rapture and that there would be five months of torment before the Earth is destroyed by fire on October 21, 2011.  When I read this it made me think about my blog I wrote in March relative to the Earth ending in 2012, which is yet another prediction that is circling the internet.  I think a few people read that blog.  I’m sure there were also some who read it but put little value in it, which is fine with me. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink. I will communicate the information I receive, but I will not be using my life’s savings to create billboards or to decorate my car.

I will reiterate the channeled information I received and posted at that time. “The end of the Earth is not going to happen. It is when the Mayans ended the calendar because they had no concept of it going any further. The end of the world is not going to be a big explosion. It is going to be a change in understanding.”

So what does this mean, exactly? Here is my take on it. Human beings are a tough nut to crack. Unless they go through pain and suffering, they seem to learn at a snail’s pace.  Most everyone I know that has evolved spiritually has done so as a result of some sort of challenge or difficulty that has brought them to their knees…myself included. Pain and suffering causes us to look within, to look towards God, to unite with others emotionally and spiritually, and to discover what is most important in our lives. It is not our houses or cars or boats or designer clothes that mean the most to us.  It is the love of our family, our friends, our pets, and our children that bonds us to one another. Love is what matters most.  Love of others, love for ourselves, and love of God. Jesus tried so hard to teach this:  “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”  How did Jesus love?  Unconditionally, that is how.  He also did not limit his love to family, friends, pets, and children.  He loved ALL of us no matter what our sins and no matter what our indiscretions.  This is the missing link we continually choose to ignore.

If the information I received is accurate, then it would make sense to me that in order for a global change in understanding to occur, challenges or difficulties must arise on a global level, correct?  Using only Twitter as my source of information, the following tweets have gone out since Saturday, May 21^st.  I find this list of destructive events within a 48-hour time frame a bit daunting to say the least.

• Powerful storm in Tennessee destroys at least 30 homes, post office, fire station.
• Flash flooding has caused a portion of Hwy 62 in Carroll Co., Arkansas to collapse this evening.
• Missing people, multiple structures collapse around Richfield, Pennsylvani, following strong thunderstorm, possible tornado.
• Line of severe storms approaching Columbus, Ohio. Damaging winds are main threat.
• Joplin, Missouri tornado, killing at least 89, is single deadliest U.S. tornado since Worcester, Mass. 1953 tornado.  Update: More than 1,000 people in Joplin area have been hospitalized following tornado.  Update: 116 confirmed dead in Joplin, city manager says.
• Thunderstorm warning issued for Dallas region; dozens of flights delayed at DFW.
• Storm, tornadoes in Minneapolis area cuts power to 20,000 customers.
• More tornadoes touch down: Oskaloosa, Kansas; Hickory, Oklahoma; Fillmore, Missouri.
• Tornado reported on ground 12 miles east of Topeka, Kansas.
• 5.8 magnitude earthquake strikes near east coast of Honshu, Japan.
• 5.0 magnitude earthquake strikes in Banda Sea, south of Indonesia.
• Earthquake, preliminary magnitude estimated at 6.1, strikes Kermadec Islands, New Zealand.
• Volcano erupts in Iceland, spurs 50 quakes. Similar eruption occurred in 2004.
• Landslide hits Malaysian orphanage, burying about 20 children, state media reports.

This list saddens me because I know people have lost their lives and others their loved ones as a result.  But it also saddens me because no matter how much I talk or write about it, no matter how much other spiritual teachers talk or write about it, and no matter how many films are made that speak to this, people are just not paying attention. As a nation and as a planet we are supposed to be evolving, which would require UNITY and LOVE and PEACE amongst us…..ALL of us. Yet all I seem to be witnessing these days is an overwhelming amount of hatred for one another because of politics, race, religion, gender, and sexual preference. If I were God I would probably be thinking “Man, I messed up somewhere in this design. It’s time to wipe the slate clean and start over.”  So if the end of the world is upon us, I so get why as a parent, he has hit his limit of patience.

Rather than focusing on the end of the world I am choosing to align my thoughts with the information I noted above about 2012.  I am also going to post additional information I received a few weeks ago because it speaks to many of the natural disasters going on right now. These are not my words, but the words of an ascended master speaking to a group of individuals, like myself, who want to understand what is taking place upon the Earth right now and what we can expect in the future:

“It’s like most of the adults in the world think that if you have war then you are going to do something wonderful, that you are going to change things. All you are going to do is expedite it and make it bigger, make it worse and make the anger huge. In doing this, when you think there is a war here and this person is doing things wrong, understand that their karma in other countries is their own karma and it will be lived out in their own way. Interference is not good. Not in your lives and not in the lives of the people. That is one of the reasons you are seeing earthquakes and tsunamis because the earth and you are part of each other. It’s one growing, living thing. And when man blows off bombs and kills people, that energy is being absorbed by the earth and the earth rebels; and it rebels in that manner. Think about this. You have seen volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, tsunamis, storms that have killed thousands of people and war in equal numbers. It is a karmic destiny for the Earth to do one thing and mankind to do another. So it has to stop. These people are going to live the way they are going to live when the wars stop. War is not going to change them. They will return to what they believe and for them it is not wrong. Because one group of people attacked this country, it does not give anyone the right to go back and destroy three other ones.  If any other country in the world did that then this country would be against it. If Pakistan went after Libya then the world would be against it. The US would be against it. If Afghanistan went after Israel then the US would be against it. Yet if they’re your friend – if Israel went after Gaza – then the US would stand back and watch. That is not balance and it is not wise. There needs to be a calming amongst humanity. The depth of the soul and the spirit in each person is not recognized. It doesn’t mean because you are a Muslim that you don’t have a depth of spirit because you do. It doesn’t mean because you’re a Catholic that you’re wrong and that you don’t have a depth of spirit, you do. Christians and Jews and Muslims are all children of the same universe, you cannot deny that. They are all part of you. If you reach out whoever you touch is your brother. You don’t have to look at them, you don’t have to desire to understand them, but that is your brother. That is your family. It’s the family of man and people have to understand that.”

There it is….LOVE THY BRETHREN.  If you’re not sure how to start I suggest two things. First is to make a donation to help others in need right. You can do without your Starbucks coffee for a day or two to help a brother out, right?  Second is to look within yourself for the prejudices and hatred that you might be holding onto right now and try and find the understanding you need in order to let that hatred and negativity go. As so many spiritual teachers have tried to teach, everything is energy and that includes us. So if our collective energy is negative and creating chaos upon the Earth, then it is time we work together to shift that energy in a more positive direction. We, as human beings, can do it on our own, and if we don’t, I can assure you that the continuation of these disasters all over the world will cause the shift anyway.

Namaste (The Divine in me honors the Divine in you).

In less than a week of it’s release date, the newly published children’s book about marriage equality titled, ‘My Uncle’s Wedding’ climbed to #2 on Amazon’s Bestseller’s list in the Gay & Lesbian Parenting & Families section.  The 34 page children’s book, aimed at readers aged 4-8, tells the story of a young boy named Andy who goes on an enjoyable journey of planning his uncle’s wedding.  The story unfolds as the reader sees how the process affects Andy, and the things he gets to do in preparation for the ceremony.

The book is getting a lot of attention, so much that even CA State Senator Mark presented a proclamation for it’s vital rule in educating the community.   The proclamation reads:

“Congratulations as we celebrate the launching of ‘My Uncle’s Wedding!’ As one of the few children’s books that address LGBT issues, it serves as a conduit by which to bolster understanding in our community.  The book plays a vital role in creating a brighter future for our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth and their parents.  Congratulations and thank you for all you do!”

Other LGBT leaders have praised the book as well. “It’s never too early to teach our nation’s children about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender equality,” explained Kate Kendell, Executive Director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, “and ‘My Uncle’s Wedding’ does just that, showing children that marriage is about love and family.  Eric Ross perfectly demonstrates that LGBT families share the same values as any other family, and his book will undoubtedly educate and inform generations to come about the freedom to marry.  Bravo!”

“This children’s book is the perfect gift for any child who loves a good story and especially children with gay people in their family,” added Molly McKay, the National Media Director for Marriage Equality USA. “The author approaches the subject of same-sex marriage with a child’s sensitivity and sensibility, and the beautiful illustrations are sure to be enjoyed by kids and parents alike.”

The National Organization for Marriage (NOM) also took the time out of their busy schedules to post about My Uncle’s Wedding on their blog. Commenters on the blog blamed the book for everything from giving children STDs to being a cover for communism. When asked about the hateful comments on NOM’s blog, author Eric Ross said, “Well, if I’m on NOM’s radar, I must be doing something right.”

To learn more about the book, ‘My Uncle’s Wedding’, visit the website at
www.myuncleswedding.com.

Thursday morning when I looked at my Twitter feed I read that Japan was hit with an 8.8 earthquake.  It seemed like every day I was reading about an earthquake somewhere in the world. China, New Zealand, Indonesia, the Philippines, and even Arkansas!  I even posted on my Facebook status that with all of these seismic shifts around the world, that California’s “big one” must be right around the corner.

While listening to the media yesterday about the earthquake in Japan I heard the word “apocalypse” used more than once, and with 2012 being just around the corner, I thought this might be a good time to share information that I had received not only about 2012 but also about changes taking place on our earth right now.  My source of information is not of this world, which means some of you will believe in the credibility of the information, and some of you will dismiss it. That is your choice.

So let’s start with 2012.  When I asked the question if the Earth was going to come to an end in 2012 this was the response I received:

The end of the Earth is not going to happen. It is when the Mayans ended the calendar because they had no concept of it going any further. The end of the world is not going to be a big explosion; it is going to be a change in understanding. It is going to be a good thing but it’s going to take people like you and others to bring that understanding to bear. There are great difficulties that will arise, especially financially, and people will need to learn acceptance as you did. Accept what is and work with it. You cannot break Universal Law but you will break yourself against it. Universal Law says this is the perfect way for it to be, and to ignore that sets you up for your own self-destruction.

Another question in the back of my mind is why is there all of this attention being given to the number 11:11 on clocks. People seem to be acutely aware of its presence, and they also make a “wish” when they see it. Here is what I was told:

11 and 11 are master numbers and it is a moment in time when mankind aligns with the masters. The visual message is reminding the individual to align themselves with the Universe and focus.

The following is a summary of some of the information given at a group reading in January 2011.  It speaks to what will be occurring in the very near future for all of us….and what is to come.  Again, you can choose to accept this info or you can choose to dismiss it.  After 25 years of receiving information from this 7^th dimensional master, I have learned that his predictions and insights for the world are veracious.

January is the door that opens up a very difficult year, especially for those who refuse to understand what it is all about.  You must remain strong and stay on the path you were meant to be on.  Do not make big changes now.

February will be a difficult month. Man makes everything so difficult. This is a month where you are going to see a lot of change. There will be more anger and more hatred between individuals. Stand strong and be helpful and kind. Do not fall into a path of anger or hatred. If you fall into it you dignify the anger that is present. Never give dignity to that which is harmful to other beings who are your brothers and sisters.

In March things will begin to clear up. It is not going to seem that way at first but if you hold on, it will. It’s very important that you know that. But it won’t happen unless it has your help. Remember that it is time to walk your path in kindness and with compassion. Do everything while watching your priorities.  Make sure everything is very clear to you. It’s very important.  Also, do not jump blind-folded.

As the year goes on you will see the world wobbling in its emotion. As the months pass….things will get better. The economy is going to pick up….but the anger imbedded in the spirits of those who are now angry and going without is still going to be there.  It will take them time to work it out.

You all have an important position in this. Bring your light into a darkened nation. Love each other and love everyone you talk to….everyone in your life.  Remember what I always tell you.  Bless the being and the path he is on because you don’t know that path…..you don’t walk that path……and you don’t know where that path is leading them….so bless their path. Do it with kindness and silently. You don’t have to say Bless You out loud. That is what you do for sneezing. You don’t have to say anything…just smile.  Be quiet and understand that they are travelling a path that you may not understand but that does not make it a wrong path, it is just not your path and each and every path is different.

This year is a master year. Everything you’ve learned to this point you are going to have to express in one way or another. All these years have brought you to this year to prove yourself. Prove that you know what you speak of. So you better get afoot. Stand tall in what you believe and no matter what anyone says to you….don’t think about it. It’s not important. Know who you are. Know what others say about you is not always true. I want you all to benefit from this. Got it?

I remember the first couple of weeks of high school, and how much hell I went through, trying to find just one friend who would eat lunch with me, or walk with me at break, but it seemed as if everyone had their circle of friends already, and I didn’t really have anywhere to go.

I FINALLY found my friends, but within a few more weeks, half of them left for some other group, and I feel like the remaining half doesn’t want me there. I feel that each and every smile I see is fake. Sometimes they wander away from our meeting place, not even waiting for me, so I stand there alone, hoping someone I know will stroll by and say hello, but they never do, and there I am sitting in a classroom by myself while everyone else is outside having fun, sharing secrets, laughing.

Sometimes it feels like elementary school all over again, and I’m the lonely one on the end swing. Everybody here is so concerned about their own drama that they don’t even stop to look around and see that they aren’t alone. When I walk down the halls all I see are people with problems. Groups of kids talking and one on the side, trying to squeeze in. I hear them all talk about each other. I see them fight and put each other down. High school is just one big mess.

Teenagers seem to be totally delusional about their surroundings, their choices, and the things they say. We are all forced to be together here in this place we call school. We all just try to get by without failing, or getting into too much trouble. We all put on these fake smiles, but behind them are stories of guilt, pressure, regrets, and abuse. We are all damaged and broken. This…is high school.

Footsteps of regret walk out from the door.

I’m trapped within these walls of which I’ve never seen before.

I walk down the halls as I stare at the floor.

I feel alone, I’m on my own, true friends I have no more.

Never have I been this way.

Never have I been shy.

But I know the smiles here are fake.

The friendships are a lie.

I question myself for leaving my home.

I always ask myself why.

I laugh no more.

I fall asleep while tears fall from my eyes.

I turn around, my sight is blind,

But I hear all that they say.

They roll their eyes, deceive me,

They always walk away.

My heart sinks low, my mind distraught.

Shed a few tears I may.

I have no strength, I hate this feeling,

That we call betray.

I never should have left my home.

It is where I belong.

This place is hell, it’s not the same,

And everything is wrong.

I strum my guitar with the sorrow I feel

And I play my sad song.

My heart is full of regret,

I feel it as I stroll along.

Damn this hell, I’m leaving now,

Forgotten you will be.

I don’t need you, you break me down,

And no I’m not sorry.

I’m going home, the place I belong.

Happy is what I’ll be.

As soon as I’m gone, I walk along.

I’m home.  I’m here.  I’m free.

My first blog on this website was New Year’s Day 2010.  As I stated in that blog, I am one of those people who make resolutions every year. Do I meet them? Some of them I do. Some of them I don’t. The point is unless you set goals to begin with, whether they are on January 1st or May 15th, how can you expect to meet them?

Last year one of my resolutions was to spend less time on Facebook and more time writing blogs, articles for publication, and my book.  How did I do?  Good and not so good.  I did blog throughout the year and the proof is right here on this website, but I didn’t blog as much as I wanted to.  I didn’t spend less time on Facebook. In fact, as the year progressed and my energy became more and more depleted by my current corporate job, I spent more time social networking to unwind and spend time with one of the most positive things in my life, my friends which are both real-life and virtual.  I did also spend time on my book and started to completely revamp it because I began writing it several years ago and times have changed since I began the process.  I also chose a different format and premise for the book, so progress has been made.  Again, not as much as I would like, but accomplishing something is always better than accomplishing nothing. As for articles for publication, that never happened, although I did think about it a lot.  The bottom line is it is great to set goals because even if you don’t meet them exactly as you had hoped, at least you did something that moved you forward in the direction of reaching them.

So here is my list for 2011.  Because 2010 was an emotionally challenging year for me, my priorities have had to change.

*TAKE CHARGE OF MY HEALTH……I have allowed the negativity and stress from my current job to affect my health in a variety of ways, one of which is weight gain which has then snowballed into other health issues as a result.  It’s time to take back my power over this job and the negativity it brings into my experience as well as my health.  I loath the word “diet” but my body is screaming right now “diet and exercise diet and exercise”.  So that is what must be the first priority in my life going forward.

*LIMIT SOCIAL NETWORKING……I have cleaned up my Twitter account and have discontinued following anyone who is not in line with my desire to change careers.  I have stopped accepting new friendships on Facebook and have eliminated most everyone on my page that is only there for self-promotion or voyeurism and not to develop a mutually supportive friendship.  The only part of this resolution to implement is to not log on to Facebook or Twitter until I have met one small goal every day whether that be to write a chapter of my book or cross off an item on my future career to do list.  I know my Facebook friends will miss my twice-a-day presence and I will miss them as well but the longer I wait to do these things the longer it will take me to get to my final destination.

*GIVE UP COFFEE……I normally only have one cup in the morning when I get up and then when I get to work I have a cup of Chai Tea.  But I’m going to replace the coffee when I get up with Chai Tea and replace the Chai Tea with water, something I have never drank enough of.  I do believe my body will thank me on this one.

*ANGER MANAGEMENT……I’m not going to go take a class on anger management or anything like that.  I know what it is.  I once received an “A” in a psychology class for doing an entire paper on it.  I’ve just let my anger get the best of me and my relationship with my daughter.  I’m going to try a whole new parenting technique that is more respectful towards my daughter as well as myself.

*MAKE A CAREER CHANGE……Another year wasted in Corporate America is just that…..another year wasted.  In nine more days I turn 54 and I am determined by the time I turn 55 that I will be retired from an industry that has done nothing but take from me on all levels giving very little back.

Blessings to each and every one of you.  Be true to yourself in 2011!!!

Namaste…..

9 Ways To Never Give Up On Your Dream

Throughout my spiritual journey I have been subjected to the opinion and judgment of others with regard to The Buddha.  Many Christians would like to equate him with evil.  I once gave my former secretary a statue of the laughing Buddha, which represents good fortune (and why you see him in many Asian establishments), and her father, who was an Episcopalian minister, in his spiritual ignorance, made her throw it away.  In spite of all of the heat I have taken about The Buddha, I will stand strong in support of him as much as I do in Jesus of Nazareth.  If those that judged really took the time to explore The Buddha’s philosophy, they would realize that these two spiritual masters taught the same thing.  One thing I do know for sure, is that followers of The Buddha would never be found standing on a street corner protesting Proposition 8, which is probably why I personally gravitate to this Eastern philosophy more than traditional Western philosophy even though I was raised a very strict Catholic.  So for those who are interested in why I love The Buddha as much as I do, here is an abbreviated version of a paper I did for a philosophy class a few years back.

Let’s start with a little bit of history.  The Buddha was born, according to scholars, around 563 B.C.C., as Siddhartha Gautama in a small kingdom called Kapilavastu in India, which today would be in southern Nepal.  The king knew Siddhartha was unusual and because of this the king consulted an astrologer to predict Siddhartha’s future. He was told that Siddhartha would be a great renunciate or Buddha.  So to protect his son from this destiny his father gave Siddhartha many riches in the form of three palaces, all the material possessions he could ever want, and beautiful women.  He had everything a man could ever want, yet he was still curious about the outside world.  So at the age of 29 he took a chariot ride through the city, and after exploring the city several times, he eventually left the palace, his family, and everything he owned, and wandered in the forest for six years.  He joined a band of ascetics and survived on one grain of rice per day, all in order to seek enlightenment which he finally accomplished one day under a Bodhi tree.  This is when he became The Buddha, which means The Awakened One, and it is also why the Bodhi Tree became known as the Tree of Enlightenment.

The D’harma is a collection of The Buddha’s teachings which was written down many years after he passed in 486 B.C.  His 45 years of teachings were meant to be read, recited, copied, and explained to others.  One of his teachings, known as the EIGHTFOLD PATH, was an outline for others to be able to attain happiness through the elimination of suffering.   Although it was written 2,500 years ago, this path can still be used as a guideline for spiritual growth today.  These are the eight parts of The Buddha’s Eightfold Path:

1. Right View or Understanding speaks to seeing things as they really are in order to be set free from the cycle of pain and suffering.  We are the only one in control of our thoughts and our behavior, so if we choose to think negatively, or we choose to behave negatively, then we have no one to blame but ourselves for the suffering we feel which may be in the form of hurt feelings, sadness, loneliness, or loss.   If we change the way we think about a situation, or the way we react to a situation, we can put an end to our own self-inflicted suffering.
2. Right Thought or Purpose speaks to freeing ourselves from attachment as well as hatred.  Being attached to someone else in a toxic way is not healthy for us or the other individual. People sometimes feel they cannot survive without the other. This kind of attachment is what causes jealousy if someone else gets too close to someone we love (that we think we own), and it also perpetuates the fear of losing that person as well.  Hatred is negative in any form whether it’s toward someone we love or someone we don’t even know.  It causes a negative vibration that flows outward into the universe and causes others to withdraw from us as well as returns back to us in another form (this is what is referred to as karma….which can be both negative and positive).
3. Right Speech speaks to abstaining from lying, idle gossiping, slanderous talk, harsh, rude, impolite, malicious, or abusive language.  If we speak with kindness to others as well as about others we will be respected and trusted.  This is probably one of the hardest guidelines to follow in the eightfold path because it encompasses swearing and being verbally unkind to others.  We all feel the need to let off steam now and then, present company included.  I personally know only one person that I can put into the category of speaking to others with kindness at all times.  This spiritual practice requires a great deal of awareness and discipline to master but it can be done.
4. Right Behavior or Conduct speaks to reflecting on what we do or how we behave as well as our intentions behind our actions.  The Buddha outlined five precepts for us to follow which was no killing or inuring of another living creature, no stealing, no lying, no unclean or excessive sex, and no drinking of intoxicants.  Thou shalt not kill and thou shalt not steal are both part of the Christian-based Ten Commandments and probably not a surprise to anyone.  However, I believe The Buddha was including animals when he spoke of killing others. Although many would say we don’t personally “kill” animals in order to eat them (someone else does) we are participating in this negative act by the purchasing of the meat that we bring to our dinner table.  The meat industry is extremely violent in nature and many I feel certain, if they took the time to watch films or read books that have exposed this industry, would modify their food choices.  With regard to excessive sex, The Buddha was not stating that we should not have pre-marital sex, as many religions teach, but more that one should not be promiscuous or obsessive about sex because that is when it transforms from being a beautiful spiritual act to an act based in primal need and impulsive desires.  Although prohibiting the drinking of intoxicants may seem a bit archaic, I believe The Buddha set this guideline forth because of its addictive quality and the detrimental deterioration of the body when one consumes excessive alcohol.  One of the more subtle parts of this guideline is intention.  Sometimes people do good things for others because they want something or expect something in return.  It is important to examine our intentions closely to assure that they are pure and that we are not attempting to manipulate or take advantage of another because of the power we may hold or because they have something that we want.
5. Right Livelihood speaks to choosing a profession that does not harm or hurt others or take advantage of others for our own personal gain.  It means making a living through honest, ethical choices.  This guideline has surely gotten lost over the last 2,500 years as we have engaged more in consumerism and corporate greed.  What about our military?  These jobs require their enlisted to kill others in the name of war which at times is corrupted at its roots.  What about selling cigarettes or alcohol? These are products that definitely harm the health and well-being of others yet if there is money involved, people will participate in the production and promotion of these products.  A prime example of a good profession would be to become a teacher where one can serve others in a positive way.
6. Right Effort speaks to having a strong will and abandoning negative thoughts such as greed, anger, selfishness, lust, or delusion which are unloving.  The objective is to focus on our good qualities and nurture them so that we are doing our best at all times and having good will toward others rather than wasting our effort on things that harm ourselves as well as others.   These negative emotions are not only toxic to us and our bodies, but to those in our environment as well.  It is not to say that we should never be angry.  This is one of the most common myths about being a religious or spiritual person (that you shouldn’t get angry).  Anger is a normal human emotion that we are born with because in a flight or fight situation we may need to use it.  It is what the everyday person does with their anger that becomes destructive whether it be vindictiveness, blaming others, or abusing others in a physical or verbal manner causing harm to them.  Anger, if used positively, will help us to draw boundaries for others so as not to place ourselves in a situation where we can be harmed. There are times when we need to be selfish like when we need to take care of ourselves physically or emotionally.  The type of selfishness that becomes destructive is when we have little to no regard for others in order to obtain what it is we are after.
7. Right Mindfulness speaks to focusing on one’s body, feelings, and thoughts much like an athlete in training.  The objective is to become aware of our negative thoughts and then learn how to restrain and control the mind so we can overcome hatred and ignorance.   Being mindful is all about being in the moment, as opposed to your mind being caught thinking about your past and what you did right or wrong, as well as being caught up thinking about your future conversations, actions, wants, needs, or desires.   Spiritual teachers stress living in the moment because if we are caught up in the past or the future, we cannot enjoy the present moment and that part of our spiritual journey.
8. Right Concentration speaks to meditation which is a trance state that prepares the mind for understanding.  As we quiet the mind negative thoughts are discarded and replaced with positive thoughts as well as awareness, detachment, and peace of mind.   Meditation is not only a trance state, it can be practiced in a variety of ways, but the end results are the same.  It can be done sitting quietly as we stare into the flame of a candle or a fireplace, or it can be done while we’re walking through the park breathing in the fresh air and taking in the beautiful blue sky and the lush green grass with flowers of all colors along our path.  It is only when we quiet our mind that we can really become aware of our innermost feelings and the truth of who we are.

The Eightfold Path is a process of spiritual purification and following it can be compared to the nurturing of a garden.  The mind is the ground and the thoughts are seeds.  Positive thoughts and good deeds are like water and fertilizer and the best way to care for a garden.  Negative thoughts and negative deeds are like weeds that we need to pull out much in the same way that we do in our garden.  In the end, harvesting our spiritual growth is the only real path to inner peace and lasting happiness.